Day 5: The CV

It’s Monday. The FIRST MONDAY. Bit disappointed to find that Sunday night still comes with a bit of “it’s Monday tomorrow” anxiety when you are unemployed. Feel it’s best to ESTABLISH A ROUTINE quickly. So start with STICKING TO THE ROUTINE. Up at 6 am to work out , do some chores and then start work by 9. Can’t you get up a bit later now” says the Wife. “No I blinkin’ can’t”. I’m too afraid of a slippery slope that ends up with me still in my pyjamas at lunchtime.

Nonetheless the normal routine seems to take longer than usual and when I finally find myself at my study desk I suddenly have an insatiable need to dust the shitake mushrooms out of it. I realise this is all a symptom of the dread surrounding writing The CV.

Fortunately Google docs have a reasonable template. On goes the Name and the Personal Details. There. We’re off. And that’s also about as far as I got on my 1st year Maths paper at Cambridge where I discovered the gap between state school maths and university was pretty much the same as that between an abacus and a computer.

Coffee. Post box. Chemist. COME! ON!

The reason people say you should maintain an up-to-date CV is because when it comes to writing one to cover your 18 year career to date, it’s REALLY HARD. I will maintain that I didn’t do it because I never felt the need to keep one eye on the door, or to look around to see if the grass was greener elsewhere, or at least fed with more expensive water. Obviously I was hopelessly naive but, I don’t know, checking your parachute at all times just seems a bit negative.

I do, however, wish I’d emailed myself every Jira I’d ever been mentioned in while my  29 minute window of Firm access was still ticking down. Actually the personal IT cheat sheet I’d tended for 18 years would, I’m sure, also have been useful. Oh well. Fortunately the notes I wrote on the train and believe it or not, the memory joggers of what I was doing when on Facebook and that thing I did for my wedding, get me going.

And now, at 8 PM, it’s DONE. Tweaked, packed with action verbs, cleverly formatted so it all fits on ONE PAGE*, and ready to be reviewed by other actual BUSINESS PROFESSIONALS.  I’m actually quite proud of it. And no, you can’t see it.

  • Produced a CV

* Having once had to read about 200 CVs to fill one role, I can tell you I might read 2 pages if it’s really interesting. It doesn’t get any more believable people, the more you write.


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